Have you ever heard the saying “you cannot control others, only yourself?” It’s amazing how much it’s true.
We can’t control anyone outside of ourselves, including our kids/significant other/family/etc.
With the holidays, come the questions. “What does so & so want for … insert any gift holiday here?”
*Throw hands up in the air* I don’t know…. nothing.
How many times have we just said “anything” or “arts and crafts” then the gifts show up and literally stay in their boxes until it’s time to get rid of them???
When you get the dreaded question “what do they want…” respond with options including an activity, a class/event, and a physical item they’d be excited for!
I can guarantee that you’ll make amazing memories that’ll last a lifetime with doing something rather than giving them the short-term-high of ripping open a gift.
What happens to those gifts once the endorphins have worn off? I’ll give it to you straight. They sit in the darn corner of a room, stacked up with the other sh!t in one ginormous pile until someone (aka Mom) can’t stand to look at it anymore.
Case and point! The day after Christmas is my nemesis.
The over-stimulation from the day before. The stuff everywhere. The aisles cut out on the floor to walk though. The empty boxes. Trash. I’m sure you can relate to the sheer madness of it all. I usually snap and clean the whole day.
I stack everything up on my dining table and do a few things. First, I ask myself if there’s anything that I don’t love anymore and donate those items. If anything’s broken and can’t be fixed, it goes out in the trash/recycling.
We (finally!) are putting a stop to this way of living. Holidays will look different in our house going forward, but that doesn’t make them any less than and it’s exciting to see what the next era brings in!
Being intentional with gift giving can be just as rewarding as a room full of gifts.
I do love finding the perfect gift and seeing the delight on the face of the receiver more than I can put into words.
You know… that moment. They’ve been waiting patiently, excitedly, and dreaming of what you got them. I always have the moment of questioning. Will this live up to their expectations?
I buy gifts with the following criteria in mind: Is it useful? Do they need it? Will it last the season or longer?
Christmas, I try to upgrade items they already have and be intentional with the influx. *Watch for next week’s post about gift/activity ideas! It’ll be a good one.
Find sales on name brand clothes (I try not to spend a lot of money on the clothes items because kids outgrow items so quickly. Thrifting is always a successful venture if you’re up for the hunt.), a video game, board games + puzzles, replenish paper + arts and crafts stock, something active, a fun excursion or trip (i.e. night in a hotel with a pool), or a subscription to a monthly box like KiwiCo (we did a 3 month subscription and the kids loved it! But it is pricy…).
Birthdays are tricky for me. Both of my kids’ birthdays are sprinkled around other holidays. While not “gift giving” ones, they’re still showered with family fun and obligations.
Last year, we did a room makeover for my oldest, in lieu of a party and gifts. Going from a toddler room to a more mature room was something she wanted so badly. All we had to get was a new bookshelf from IKEA, a comfy papasan chair (that Santa brought), and a fresh coat of paint and she was thrilled with her “new” room she didn’t ask about presents once!
For Easter, I focus giving items for the warmth of summer.
Bubbles, water shoes, a new water bottle, anything that needs to be replaced from last year, a hat or bathing suit, and a candy that they rarely get to enjoy.
You do you, boo
In my journey to simplifying my life, it’s opened by eyes to different possibilities and past experiences.
I’ll admit getting my Husband on board with this concept has been a tricky one and I don’t know if he’s 100% in it either. But I am.
We all have different upbringings and childhoods. Mine was less focused on consuming as we didn’t have the money for that.
When I got my first job at 16, it was for spending money and man, did I spend it. Spent it all so quickly that it took me a hot minute to re-learn the “value of the dollar”.
Which was in college, when I used my student loans and work-study paychecks to live and fund my housing, books, and food, and I had a humbling moment over a bowl of instant ramen noodles as it was the only food I had left for the week.
It’s embarrassing to say own it now, but I didn’t really go out and “enjoy” college because I was broke. My friends used to make fun of me for my $5 bottle of wine and sitting on the couch for the evening.
In hindsight, I probably should have joined in some nights, especially if I didn’t partake in the consumption, but was present for the moments that became topics of conversations and inside jokes.
Being present is the greatest gift you can give anyone and it’s free!
My challenge as we move into the holiday season is to put your phone away. Put it on silence, in your bag by the door, and don’t look at it. Sure, I know that our phones are our cameras now. Think about this though…
So many times, Moms aren’t in any photos because we’re the ones taking them. Let someone else do it!
We let moments pass without really witnessing it in real time. Pictures and videos are memorable, but (sometimes) we miss the sparkle or sheer reaction because we’re too enthralled in capturing it. Kids always look at you because they want to see your eyes – not the photo lens of your camera.
Our kids are only little once. Every moment is fleeting. Once gone, you can never get it back. So put the phone away and watch your kids open their presents, play a game, cuddle and watch a movie, and join in the moments. Don’t miss it.
That being said, I need a break from being present sometimes as do you!
Make new memories and traditions. THIS has been the best thing that’s ever happened to my holiday season.
Instilling new (and continued traditions) for my kids and myself has come back to warm my heart tenfold.
My sister in law and I on a morning in the few days leading up to Christmas go to get massages and lunch. It’s been 3 years in a row now and my favorite tradition with her. ❤
It came to fruition because we both have birthdays near the holidays and in lieu of gifts, we asked for an experience. This year, I’m happy that my Mom is joining in and we’ll get the time to spend together without the kids around.
My best friend and I usually carve a day out of our busy schedules and do a day together. Last year, it was a weekend in Cleveland, but it’s been as simple as ordering takeout, putting on Hallmark movies, and having a sleepover.
Do all the things with your people. ❤
Take a breather when you need it.
I would challenge you to do the things, but also to take care of yourself this holiday season.
Simply Tamed 